Thursday, 31 March 2016

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Just stop doing it

Is it me, or has the UK weather got worse since we started naming our storms?

I think we should stop the practice. It clearly just encourages them. That recent one sucked 175 tons of good straw clean through the roof of this barn.



Monday, 28 March 2016

String attached

New Edition with Advanced section(Includes emergency number you can dial with one hand)



Editors note: The Gargantuan Griptight in section eight should only be attempted with the assistance of two helpers and some lard.




Saturday, 26 March 2016

Going cheap

When I was a kid, we raised chickens. They arrived as a box full of tiny yellow day-old chicks and were parked in a small pen right under an electric bulb (warmth and light) with an old mop head (mother).

We fed them leftovers, kept them outdoors, and their deprived childhood made them vindictive pecky adults as I recall. They spent their time producing eggs which we sold for profit. After a year or so we killed and ate them.

I have not related this tale to my small yellow friends in this plastic box.



Monday, 21 March 2016

Being cool

This is the way to point out to lesser mortals at the concert that they should move aside and let you through, because the Ukulele and Kazoo ensemble is due on stage next.




Saturday, 19 March 2016

Stone and ivy

Here's a tombstone in the graveyard at Hannington captured* in low winter sunlight. 

Why do stonemasons make these grave covers so heavy? It it in case you change you mind and try to get out?


*Captured is a special word used by photographers. It allows us to avoid using the word "Snapped"

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Life lessons

If you know the answer, put your hand up. The other children will respect you for it. Later. In the playground.

Volunteer for stuff when you can. It will probably be an simple, easy job.



Monday, 14 March 2016

Ever thinner

The local council are slicing their diminishing financial pie ever thinner. All sorts of services are being axed in the name of economy. 

There is even talk of closing most of the libraries in our neck of the woods. 

I wonder what the archaeologists of some future time would make of this. "Here we see the start of the Age of Ignorance when twenty first century society turned it's back on learning for short term gains".

PS. What are they doing with all that money anyway? They certainly aren't repairing the roads, or providing a comprehensive police force.




Thursday, 10 March 2016

Beware

Dessert is cooking in the oven. 

There's the pastry rolling pin. But some fruit has been left out. 

I would explain more but I can't...




...  It looks like untarted cherrystory to me.



Monday, 7 March 2016

Ad Speak

Ad men (or women) have a lot to answer for. 

I would like to meet the person that decided "fun size" actually means "small". 

Why can't you buy a small coffee these days? And why is a medium coffee larger than any human could possibly drink in one coffee break?

And why is this ice cream full of joy?



Friday, 4 March 2016

Lost arts

What became of all the Wheelwrights? 

Was there ever a Barrelwright? No, I think they were called Coopers.

Anyway, who would hand make a barrel these days when you can buy a plastic box from Poundland (for a pound, I assume)...

All these lost arts.




Thursday, 3 March 2016

Goodbye to all that

("Brexit": Is that your last meal at Dignitas?)

If we leave Europe, Mr Cameron have been defeated and will face a vote of no confidence. As a result there will be a General Election. Inevitably, Labour will take power.

Then we enter uncharted territory. 

We pull down the shutters, we are out of Europe. No one likes us. 

It will be the Trump - Corbyn era.



Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Worn Down

If winter has worn you down and you feel your confidence eroded, take courage. Spring is surely here. The march towards summer is upon us. See: The nights are shorter, the days are warmer and things are growing in the garden.

Normally I would be changing the car to its summer tyres but that's on hold due to the cold weather that is forecast.