Wednesday, 10 July 2019

Times and tides

We live in a time of wonders.

You could compare the wit of Trump with that of Oscar Wilde. You could compare the statesmanship of Boris Johnson with that of Churchill. You could say "they bestride our narrow world like a collossus" in these times.

You could do all of these things..

Tuesday, 11 June 2019


It turns out we have bees under our summer house.

It turns out that this is a Good Thing because bees are important and under threat.

It also turns out I don't know why they are called Bumble Bees.

Monday, 10 June 2019

One shot or two?

Industrial strength coffee is very much the order of the day in post hipster Britain. It has become so strong that conventional pouring methods no longer work. 

Your local barista is likely to use this high pressure coffee pump for your quad shot day-starter.

Tuesday, 4 June 2019


A new venture to create a ski resort on the south coast has proved ill fated. At present there is no snow and there seems to be little chance of any. 

Skiers still take the cable car up the mountain in case it is white on top.

Sunday, 2 June 2019


Being just the under-gardener you have to accept your rank in life: Just a little lower than the head gardener.

Thursday, 30 May 2019


In high winds, if no-one notices, these points get blown over and all the trains end up in West Bromwich.

No, really

Wednesday, 29 May 2019


Once upon a time a popular music combo called the Beatles had some success. Much of it was built on heaps of iron like this VOX AC50 that I am refurbishing. After decades of quiet retirement it is being coaxed back in to life.

It is hot and dangerous work. Sometimes I feel like a coal miner.

Monday, 27 May 2019

Victorian care

Victorian hospitals were stark and dreary places. Your symptoms were displayed outside your ward on a large red banner. 

Serious diseases merited warning cones and lights.

Wednesday, 22 May 2019


Don't know about you, but I find this very moorish.

PS. Disadvantage of being Queen of everything and Empress of India. One gets all sorts of stuff given to one.  One's poor cupboards!

Tuesday, 21 May 2019


Our new house build is going slowly.

The builders turned up in the afternoon, lit a fire and made a cup of tea. Then it was time to go home.

Monday, 20 May 2019


We are sorry to report that Igor has escaped again.

If you see him, don't make eye contact, comment on his general appearance or call him a monster.

Saturday, 16 February 2019

The interview

Lady Stoat-Mitherer* agonised over the impending interview. Choosing the right staff is important, however they should not be made too comfortable, it may set a precedent. 

So she had the comfy sofa removed by the Butler's assistant.

*Pronounced "Smythe"

Wednesday, 13 February 2019

Friday, 25 January 2019

Monday, 7 January 2019