Fear and trembling

You arrive at the end of the meal and it is time to pay. 

Once upon a time you would reach in your pocket for your wad of cash, peel off three ten bob notes and the waiter would return with the change on a tray. At that point you could leave a tip of half a crown or maybe even five bob from that change. A well trained waiter would select the right coins from the till and present them to you in such a manner as to make the whole business seamless, discreet and professional.

These days, thanks to progress, we have these remote credit card processors. (By the way, they pass your details and pin number over the local WiFi network so that hackers can extract funds at will, thereby boosting the local economy - but that is another story). No, today's rant concerns the whole business of leaving a tip. 

Now you are faced with a Gratuity decision, and a complex set of key strokes to add the tip, set the amount and verify the transaction. Here lies the trap and the fear. What if I accidentally add my pin number to the bill as a tip? What if I add a tip but it turns out to be 5p not £5 as I intended? 

If I decline the added gratuity and leave cash, will the waiter get the money? If I add the tip does it just go to the management? Meanwhile your generosity is under scrutiny from your dinner guests. It is all just too awful.